Setting Boundaries

If someone was trying to break into your house, you would probably call the police, run for your life, grab a weapon, scream, or something! You wouldn’t just stand there and allow the intruder to barge in. Yet, we allow the energy of others to invade our personal space, whether it be in our mind, emotions, or physical body. By not stopping this intrusion, you give away your personal energy. We all have the ability to create our own energy without stealing someone else’s energy or becoming entangled in a situation that is none of our business. This requires diligent development of our spiritual practice to raise our vibration, and setting boundaries with those who would siphon our energy.

In the previous chapter, we talked about clearing your aura and learned to visualize a radiant, light-filled field of energy around your physical body. Now we will discover how to protect it from invasion. This egg-shaped shield should be about two to three feet from your body. It needs to be flexible and thin enough to let in what serves you, yet thick enough to keep out what doesn't. When the layers of your body shield are thin or have holes in them, you are more easily influenced by environmental stimuli and negativity. Anyone who has a healthy self-esteem and maintains strong boundaries with others will most likely have a thicker, stronger aura than someone who is fearful, anxious, shy, stressed, jealous, hateful, or holding on to any other negative thought or feeling.

Auras are created from heat and vibration. Similar to how your body raises its temperature while fighting infection, a physical illness can cause a temporary color change or increase in aura size. Containing various colors, each conveying a different meaning, the aura is like a mood ring that changes colors with your physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual state, as well as by the energies of those around you. If you are unhealthy, there may be shadows, grey, or black areas in your aura or it may appear murky rather than clear and transparent.

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PURCHASE the paperback book, Whose Stuff Is This? Finding Freedom from the Thoughts, Feelings, and Energy of Those Around You at http://tinyurl.com/EmpathAmazon.
The e-book version is now available for Kindle, iPhone, iPad, and other digital reading devices on Smashwords.com. Get the PDF on the author's website: WeAreOneinSpirit.com.
Why not have someone read the book to you? Check out the audio book MP3 file version.

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Honoring the Boundaries of Others

By being overly sympathetic toward others we enable them to continue their harmful behavior. This not only disempowers them, it adversely affects you. I hate to be so blunt, but we empaths really need to mind our own business! We have enough stuff of our own to deal with; we don’t need someone else’s drama. We are all here to enjoy our earth experience, explore possibilities, and develop our own soul. When we carry burdens for someone else, we rob them of the experience to learn specific lessons their soul has arranged.

If someone close has asked for some space or time apart from you, honor their request. We don’t have to be entertained or always together in order to have a healthy relationship. If your partner needs space, you don’t have to feel as though they don’t like you or don’t want to be with you. They may simply need a break from your energy—especially if you are carrying a negative charge and are not attempting to clear it. Give your loved one a chance to recover and recharge their batteries. Why not spend the time engaging in your own spiritual work? It can only make your relationship better.

You are stronger than you think you are. You are not a victim; you have the power to choose. Therefore, there is no need to blame others or circumstances for your discomfort. As you begin the process of working on your own stuff, you will see your “self” in a new light. You will see your life shift in miraculous ways and you will attract many new opportunities. And you won’t be burdened with other people’s stuff.

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PURCHASE the paperback book, Whose Stuff Is This? Finding Freedom from the Thoughts, Feelings, and Energy of Those Around You at http://tinyurl.com/EmpathAmazon.
The e-book version is now available for Kindle, iPhone, iPad, and other digital reading devices on Smashwords.com. Get the PDF on the author's website: WeAreOneinSpirit.com.
Why not have someone read the book to you? Check out the audio book MP3 file version.

The author, Yvonne Perry, is available as a spiritual coach. See http://weare1inspirit.com/services/coaching/ for information about a free 10-minute evaluation to see if coaching is right for you.
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Setting Boundaries Using Physical Stance

If you feel that someone or something is trying to drain your energy, you might try taking a physical position to block out external influences. This might include crossing your arms in front of your chest or crossing your legs. Make all your fingers on your left hand touch the fingers on your right hand (think praying hands without the palms touching). Close your eyes, clear your mind, and take long, slow, even breaths until you begin to feel comfortable. It's a way to take a break to refresh and strengthen your body, mind, and aura. Closing off your energy in this way will protect you from negative influences, and keep your energy from reaching other people.

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PURCHASE the paperback book, Whose Stuff Is This? Finding Freedom from the Thoughts, Feelings, and Energy of Those Around You at http://tinyurl.com/EmpathAmazon.
The e-book version is now available for Kindle, iPhone, iPad, and other digital reading devices on Smashwords.com. Get the PDF on the author's website: WeAreOneinSpirit.com.
Why not have someone read the book to you? Check out the audio book MP3 file version.


The author, Yvonne Perry, is available as a spiritual coach. See http://weare1inspirit.com/services/coaching/ for information about a free 15-minute evaluation to see if coaching is right for you.
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Four Tips for Creating Healthy Boundaries

Our guest blogger for today, Gini Grey, shares four tips for creating healthy boundaries. Gini is the founder of Celebrate YourSelf, offering Transformational Sessions, Spiritual Energy Awareness audio programs and insightful writing. Her purpose and passion in life is to guide people to live from their center, that place of lightness and bigness. Learn more about Gini at http://www.ginigrey.com/

 

1. Stay centered and grounded. Being centered and grounded helps release stress. As you interact with others, stay connected to your own inner experience; feel your energy flow through your body, let any foreign energy release down your grounding cord, and stay centered in your own light vibration. Fill up with your own energy vibration until there’s no space for others’ problems and pain, but still room for compassion.

2. Be aware of energy boundaries. Our energy doesn’t end where our skin ends. We each have an electromagnetic field around us called the aura. As you own your aura, you create healthy boundaries around your personal space allowing your own energy to flow freely and prevent others’ energy from entering.

3. Tune into the difference between your emotions and other peoples’. Empaths take on other peoples’ emotions as if they were their own. A friend tells you her husband just filed for divorce and your heart aches. Your brother calls you in a panic about money problems and your stomach twists and turns. You attend a funeral and feel overwhelmed with grief. Like musical notes, each emotion has its own vibration unique to each person. Sadness is lighter than apathy; anger vibrates faster than sadness; amusement feels free and healing; joy is light and bright, and enthusiasm takes you even higher up the scale. Get to know your emotions by feeling them and allowing them to flow. With this awareness you will instantly know when you’ve taken on someone else’s sadness, anger or joy; it won’t feel like yours and it won’t feel comfortable. Then all you have to do is let it go, like taking off a scarf that isn’t yours.

4. Say goodbye to codependent behaviors. With big hearts, caretaking and rescuing becomes the norm for empaths. Instead of sensing and feeling another’s plight, use your clear seeing abilities to look at your loved one’s situation. See who they are beyond their problems and pain; see the spiritual being within who is connected to the Source of all life. Know that just as you have your path to walk, they have theirs. Don’t let their victim mask pull you in to taking on their problems. Toss away pity and sympathy, and give the gift of love by shining a light on others’ bigness. Allow your friends and family to grow, heal, and evolve through their own struggles and triumphs. If you feel tempted to jump in, reflect back on your life to see if you are projecting any of your own unhealed wounds. tal reading devices.

Why not have someone read the book to you? Check out the audio book MP3 file version.

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Setting Boundaries with People

An empath tends to be somewhat of a caretaker with very thin boundaries. We have such a desire to please and help others, we often do so at the expense of our own health. When an empath is feeling overwhelmed, there is a good chance that she is not caring for her own needs.

A person can get so used to caretaking that they feel they are supposed to do it. I believe it is a violation of another person’s rights to even try to pick up information or sense things about them unless you first ask their permission. It’s like reading their mail or rummaging through their closet! If you are an empath with the typical codependency pattern, your idea of where the line is between you and another person might be a bit blurred. Once you get to know where the line is, it will make all your relationships clearer and cleaner. In my book, Whose Stuff Is This? Finding Freedom from the Thoughts, Feelings, and Energy of Those Around You, I teach how to sense your own energy and listen to your inner guidance.

Empaths are kind and caring. At times, we are almost saintly because we tend to care for others more than we care for ourselves. However, you are not doing yourself or anyone else any favors by being a martyr. Co-dependency is common in our relationships because we want to please others. Doing or saying something that will make someone else angry or sad is uncomfortable for us, so we often avoid confrontation. After all, if we make someone angry or upset, we will probably pick up that feeling and make us even more uncomfortable. This is not self-care; this is self-sabotage!

Caretaking does not serve or protect another person; it keeps them from growing up and accepting responsibility for their own actions and feelings. You have to be the bad guy from time to time just to maintain your own health and sanity. People may get mad at you if you don't do what they want you to do, but their feelings are not your feelings, and your well-being is not dependent on theirs. Part of maturing as an empath is to stop taking on responsibilities that aren't yours. There are times when we must have the courage to say "no," when called upon to give away our valuable time or emotional resources. It's okay to let others take care of themselves as much as possible. It's fine to ask others to help you! A healthy relationship is a two-way venture where receiving is equal to giving. Let your friends pamper you from time to time.

Extend patient, loving attention to yourself by setting aside time for spiritual renewal, to read, or do a craft or project you enjoy. Find some place where you can be alone in nature to refresh your own batteries. Do some type of physical exercise to keep the energy flowing in your body. Care for yourself the way you do others.

When you treat yourself with compassion, you offer yourself a supportive emotional environment that allows you to overcome past patterns and challenges to step into the positive change that you are seeking and deserve!

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PURCHASE paperback book, Whose Stuff Is This? Finding Freedom from the Thoughts, Feelings,and Energy of Those Around You at http://tinyurl.com/EmpathAmazon. The e-book version is now available for Kindle, iPhone, iPad, and other digital reading devices.