March 1, 2011

Being Non-Resistant Means Never Having to Say You’re Sorry

I remember the line from Erich Segal's Love Story: "Love means never having to say you’re sorry."

That’s true because love never perceives itself as being wronged. If you never perceive attack, you will have no need to forgive, defend, retaliate, or feel sorry for yourself. What a freeing way to live! This is the embodiment of the often misunderstood feat of “turning the other cheek.” We’ve often thought that phrase meant that it is honorable to let people walk all over us. Turning the other cheek actually means standing in your place of power and letting things flow through you without even moving the needle on your “who gives a crap?” meter. You simply avoid giving away your power to anything negative. How? By paying attention to what you are experiencing at any given moment and not pushing against it. This state of allowing permits you to acknowledge your emotions—whether pleasant or not—and look for the gift or lesson each situation offers.

We resist because we are fearful or in denial. Perhaps we are afraid to feel, or worry that our emotions will take over. Quite the opposite is true. Our emotions, when stuffed, are silently taking over our health. Being resistant blinds us to possibilities and solutions and causes us to shut down. Our body may feel tight, tense, or lethargic; our emotions may feel heavy, sad, or angry. This causes us to attract more negativity and pretty soon we are stuck.

So, the next time you are about to get mad, judge, or resist, stop and accept yourself, the other person, and situation as it is. It doesn’t mean you condone it. It means you are accepting its reality instead of denying or fighting it.

If something is upsetting you, deal with it quickly. Acknowledge and release your feelings before they drag you down. That way, you can be present in every moment as you bring your attention and awareness to each thought, feeling, and activity as it is occurring. If you notice you are in a state of resistance, go to Chapter 9 of my book, Whose Stuff Is This? and do some of the exercises that bring peace of mind, balance, and well-being.

When something upsetting is occurring for you, there are three choices you can make:
  1. Resist, deny, avoid, or ignore it (not recommended!)
  2. Communicate, ask for what you need, and be willing to alter what you can about the situation. If another person involved will not cooperate with your peace-making efforts, cut ties with the offender or remove yourself from the unhealthy environment. Let go of the need to change people. The only person you can change is yourself. Find a different job, move out, or do whatever you need to bring about a better living/working condition and peace of mind. You do not have to complain, suffer, or play the role of a victim. Instead, look for new opportunities and relationships with uplifting and positive people that will support and nurture you on your spiritual path.
  3. Accept the situation once you have done all you can to remedy it. This does not mean you are giving up or surrendering to something you abhor. It means you have released all the negative charge surrounding the situation and come to a place of peace that will allow you to remain where you are without suffering, stuffing, or seething. This option is best employed when you are dealing with an uncontrollable situation such as the death of a loved one or the termination of a close relationship.
When you focus on cultivating and integrating a peaceful mindset into your life, the universe will guide you to the resources that support your goal of entering into the flow of who you really are. Undoubtedly, your intuition led you to this blog today. You know how to access your internal guidance!

When you are non-resistant, you feel lighter and it’s easier to be joyful and allow what you really want to flow into your life. My wish is that you will recognize your own power and live at a blissful level of unconditional, non-resistant happiness.

PURCHASE paperback book, Whose Stuff Is This? Finding Freedom from the Thoughts, Feelings,and Energy of Those Around You at The e-book version is now available for Kindle, iPhone, iPad, and other digital reading devices.

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